Watched The Third Man last night. It's got quite a reputation, which I don't know if it lived up to. It's certainly very good, the actors are great and Vienna looks beautiful, but I'd expected it to be stunning when it was "only" good. There's also the fact that I knew the rough outline of the story, and there's a pretty important plot twist that's supposed to be a surprise. So that could be a factor.

And it's hard not to be anxious for Orson Welles to appear. He's just so charming. And his character is horrible. There's a key scene where he's chattering away to Joseph Cotton about how, really, wouldn't anyone kill a bunch of children if there was a decent profit in it, and he's completely likable even while he's justifying these awful things. I suspect that he finally kills a very likable tertiary character just so you won't be disappointed that he doesn't escape at the end.

It's not just me, either, because apparently after the movie was a hit, Orson Welles did a radio series as the same character, where he would tell stories about his other adventures. Apparently he wasn't so totally amoral in that -- there's an episode on the DVD, which I haven't listened to yet -- but still.

And I went to the comic store. Got The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen #3, so I'll have to go check out the annotation in a few minutes. Also finally got Terra Occulta, the Planetary/JLA crossover. It was pretty strange, and dark, and most of the title characters died, and I liked it. And finally, Radioactive Man #575, which was very funny. "Radioactive Man's mind begins to drift... to his origin, of all things... it's been over a quarter of a year since he last reflected on who he is and how he came to be..." All the ads and the letters/editorial stuff are amusing, too. I think my favorite was the ad for the Little Women Portfolio: "See Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy like you've never seen them before -- fighting evil and wielding swords!"

There are five or six partly read books lying on my nightstand or on the floor by my bed. You know what some of them are. Actually, most of them are from the used book splurge I made last weekend. Plus I got another order from Ziesing -- one will probably be a Christmas present, and the other is The Haunted Looking Glass, an anthology of ghost stories selected by Edward Gorey. Author include Dickens and E. Nesbit and Bram Stoker and Wilkie Collins, so I'm excited about it. And I think the only story I've read before is W. W. Jacobs' The Monkey's Paw, which is kind of obligatory.

So I really want to read it, but... they're ghost stories. I read one last night: The Empty House, by Algernon Blackwood. He's on my list of authors to look for, and the story is very good. It's about two people taking a tour of a house that's supposed to be haunted. It's all mood, but it's a very effective mood. After reading it, I thought maybe I should read something else before I turned the light out and went to sleep. Tonight I'll try alternating ghost stories with Roy Blount's Crackers and see if that makes me less tense.

Oh, and my family tried playing Devil Bunny Needs a Ham. It's fun. It's nothing amazing, but it's a good, simple game that only takes 15 minutes or so. And it's cheap enough that it's worth buying just for the premise: the players are sous-chefs trying to climb a building, and the Devil Bunny is trying to knock the players off the building because it (incorrectly) believes that by doing so, it will get a ham. It's kind of amazing that nobody had thought of such an obvious game premise before now.

Oh dear. There's this strip mall a block away from me. And the last time I stopped there, I saw signs mentioning that there'd be a book sale in a vacant store for about a week. This is the week. I forgot about it all weekend, since I went further afield to do my errands. But today I stopped over there, and there were signs and everything so I had to go look. The good news was that most of the books were the same things I see at the library and the used bookstore and every-damn-where. But then there were lovely old weather-beaten copies of books I've been meaning to read, so that was hard.

I was strong. I think. So I only got:

• The Vintage Mencken "gathered by Alistair Cooke," which means I'll hum the Masterpiece Theater theme whenever I look at it. Yes, I know it's actually "Rondeau," but it's always going to be the Masterpiece Theater theme to me. And yes, it's not really something you can easily hum. Look, just shut up, okay? You're ruining my flow. The point is, I've always thought I should read Mencken, because he's one of the great curmudgeons, plus he's a local. So now I can.

• Delacorta's Diva. I have several other books by Delacorta in this series, but not Diva, because I never ran across a copy. They're weird. I mean, they're really, seriously weird. The recurring characters are a 40-something con artist and his 13 year-old girlfriend. They don't actually have sex, but her sexuality is a big part of the books, which means that they're kind of like someone rewrote Lolita as a series of crime caper novels. If you saw the movie version you have the basic idea of the plot: two cassette tapes get mixed up, one has a recording of a reclusive opera singer, and one is the testimony of a mob boss' mistress. Wackiness ensues. It's a great movie. The book is less surreal, I guess, or surreal in different ways. When I read these books, I wonder if they're normal to the French or not, because seriously: they're very odd.

• Roy Blount, Jr.'s Crackers. I've gotten this from the library, and don't really remember much about it. But I'm sure it's funny, because I love Roy Blount.

• Ian Pears' An Instance of the Fingerpost. I meant to read this after seeing the reviews for it a long time ago. My mom is rereading it now, actually. The main reason I bought it is that it's a nice oversized paperback. Because even at that size, it's over 600 pages. I've seen it at the library, and the standard paperback is almost as thick as it is wide. I've read Stephen King, so I know what a godawful pain it is to read books like that. I don't think I'll get around to it for a while, but when I do, at least I'll be able to hold it without needing special devices just to hold it open.

• And a copy of Gaiman & Pratchett's Good Omens. Which I already have a copy of. But! This was a hardback. I have the (again, oversized) paperback, and it's worn and scuffed and I lent it to someone who let it get rained on. So I thought a nice hardback was worth the investment. Plus, the dustjacket is pretty. Oh, and some research suggests that it's a first edition, and probably worth at least $40. Possibly more, since I think it's in very good condition. It cost me $2. I rock.

The book sale is only there for a week. But in its last days (this weekend) they'll have even more ridiculous bargain rates like "fill a bag for $1." So stay tuned, because I'm just awful at resisting temptation.

Firefly sure didn't make any sense. If I didn't have such a mass of conflicting feelings about the people involved, I wouldn't watch it again. As it is I'm stuck with the suspicion that that only things I enjoyed at all (a few lines of dialogue) were probably Whedon's work.

Last night I watched a few episodes of The Muppet Show on DVD. Sweet. The episodes had guest stars Mark Hamill (and R2D2 and C3PO and Chewbacca), Paul Simon, and Raquel Welch. The one with Hamil is probably the funniest, but it's hard for me to judge because I kinda sorta remember seeing that when it first aired. Back when I was really excited about Star Wars stuff.

There was also a bit where Raquel Welch seems to be seducing Fozzie. That was kind of disturbing to watch.

The extras are fairly minimal: Brian Henson does a short intro to each episode; there's a short spot with Ms. Piggy; a character sketch of Angus McGonagle (who gargles Gershwin gorgeously); an easter egg with some not-that-exciting trivia. But the final extra is great: it's a series of screen tests of various Muppets trying out for the part of Yoda. Kermit reads from his script, "Strong the force is in him," and then asks, "Is it supposed to be like this?" And Animal just chants "Yoda Yoda Yoda!" Overall, it's worth renting.

Let's see. One night earlier this week I stayed up very late re-reading Lansdale's The Drive-In. I just wanted something to read for half an hour, and I thought that since I'd read it before, I wouldn't mind stopping in the middle. That was silly of me. And now I'm re-reading Brust's To Reign In Hell, I guess because the Lucifer comics have got me in the mood for some Satan. If you know what I mean. It seems to be a better choice for bedtime, in that I can actually put it down at the end of a chapter and go to sleep.

Been reading bits and pieces of things. Finished Gamesmanship, some essays and short stories.

And I've been watching Robin of Sherwood. One of the TWoP posters graciously offered me copies, which is just one of the many ways that site has made my life so much more fun. I don't want to go on about it, but all the supportive messages from fans of the site are amazing. [Historical footnote: TWoP was getting ready to shut down, until a last-minute reprieve came in the form of a deal with Yahoo!] I knew people enjoy the site, but man. I'm glad Wing, Sars, & Glark are getting plenty of props there, because they're superheroes. And I'm terribly glad that I don't have to write a big epic thing about how sad I am that the site's closing, the way I was planning over Labor Day weekend. Sniff. Okay, sorry about the digression; back to Robin of Sherwood.

I'm going to assume most of you haven't seen it. It's a BBC series that was made in the early 1980's. I saw it on PBS; it aired on local stations off and on when I was in junior high and high school. It's, duh, about Robin Hood. It's a weird mix of realism and fantasy. Okay, "realism" is probably stretching it, but compared to The Adventures of Robin Hood with Errol Flynn (which I'm also quite fond of), it's positively gritty. People are messy and muddy and wear raggedy vests made of skins; they shot on location in a bunch of castles and woods. I think the actors were probably freezing a lot of the time. And then there's this whole mystic thing going on: Robin is chosen as Herne's son, so he's got a bit of a Wiccan holy war going on in addition to protecting the serfs. The mysticism can be fun, but in general I think it's the weakest aspect of the show.

There were only 22 episodes total in three seasons, so I saw them over and over for years. Despite having not seen them in a decade, there have been quite a few scenes where I would suddenly remember the dialogue as the characters said things, which is kind of scary. And I had a huge nostalgia-fit seeing everyone again, so I can't exactly be the most objective critic. I think that most of the acting is great, and the characters are nicely written, which grounds the more fantastic stuff. The bad guys (the Sheriff and Sir Guy of Gisborne) are fabulous. One of the things I didn't like about the last season was that Guy became more of a doofus; he went from a threat to comedy relief.

Okay, I'll hush. It's worth checking out if you have the opportunity, just bear in mind that in many of the episodes, the characters are more engaging than the plot.

Moving on... I went to the comic shop on Saturday. Got the newest League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, so now I have to go read the annotations page again. Also got Garth Ennis' The Pro. Which is crude, violent, and very funny. It's about a prostitute who becomes a superhero. Much mockery of superhero comics ensues. It's not the most sophisticated satire, but hey, it's really funny.

I also got Evan Dorkin's Dork #10, which has another "Eltingville Club" story, if you're not getting enough fan-bashing from me.

And Warren Ellis' Atmospherics was collected as a TPB. A very thin TPB -- it's just 30-odd pages. But it's very creepy. If that new Twilight Zone show did stories like this, I'd watch it. I'm pretty sure I don't have to worry about that happening, though. Anyway, it's about a woman who's either being held at a hospital or a police station, and she either witnessed a mass alien attack on humans or she's a serial killer, or maybe some combination of the above. Or maybe none of them. Oh, and it's also very pretty -- the art is by Ken Meyer, Jr.

And finally, I stopped in at the media store while I was at the mall. Incidentally, I just discovered that there's now an "As Seen on TV" store at the mall. That's really what it's called. All those gadgets and gizmos you see advertised at 3 AM? They're all there. I know where I'm doing my Christmas shopping now. Hang on, that reminds me: there was a display of Christmas decorations up in one store I walked through. It's September! This madness must be stopped!

Sorry. So I was shopping for a birthday present for Niels (happy birthday, Niels!) and I got him something and then discovered that Meet the Feebles is out on DVD. I might have bought it anyway, but the cover really does say "from the director of Lord of the Rings." I wonder if parents will end up traumatizing their children by innocently renting this movie now. We can hope. Anyway, I saw what was probably a pirated copy many years ago but haven't seen it since, so I'm pleased. It's got puppets. And it's deeply, horribly wrong. On every level. I look forward to watching it again.

Yesterday my pre-ordered copy of Jonathan Carroll's White Apples arrived. I was really tired because of course my schedule was screwed up by the long weekend. But apparently it was more screwed up than I thought, because I couldn't sleep. So I read the book. And then I still couldn't sleep after that for a long time. I think I drank my weight in coffee today. Blargh.

Anyway. The book was kind of disappointing. It just felt like a draft, or like Carroll needed a tough editor who would make him settle down. Carroll's books work best when there's real life with just hints of horror/fantasy, and this one never seemed to establish the real life part well enough to make the fantasy effective. I really wanted to like it, and I would hate to have to pick the things that should come out, but I think somone should have. There's just... too much. When the characters have to stop for a while a superbeing explains what's really going on, I think that should be a warning that you've gone overboard. And yet the threat was never solid enough -- what the characters were trying to do (or avoid) was so theoretical and removed. He tried to ground it a bit with relationships and personality quirks, but I was never really worried about them as people. There are lots of little lines that I really enjoyed: "There was always some kind of noise in the background when chaos was on the phone," and "She wore a clinging silvery silk dress that made her look like a sexy letter opener." It certainly wasn't terrible, or disappointing; I don't want to sound as if I didn't like it, but I wanted to enjoy it more than I did. Even while I was reading, I was thinking about how it could have been better. I seem to have a trend of liking every other book Carroll does, so I guess I'll really enjoy his next one.

Oh, and it's dedicated to Neil Gaiman, by the way. (Who just won the Hugo, if you didn't already know. Which is nice. More on him in a minute.) And there's another Lethem blurb on the back, so I guess he's the new endorsement king. There are also two blurbs from the Post, which looks a bit silly because they don't give the critic's names. (I assume they're from different critics.) Here endeth my review of the jacket.

And today I got my order from Ziesing Books. I got The Beatles: As It Happened, which is a 4-CD set of bits of interviews and things. It looks neat. And it was $8, so I couldn't really resist it. I haven't listened to it yet, though.

Finally... I got A Walking Tour of the Shambles, by Gene Wolfe & Neil Gaiman. Whee! It was Ziesing's last copy, too. I was going to buy a couple copies and get some birthday/Christmas shopping done early, but I guess there will be no cool presents for my friends after all. Because I'm not giving up my copy. I'm selfish. Sorry. It's very short, but very funny. The "other books by the authors" credits Gaiman with writing Several Interesting Bus Journeys and Wolfe with Thirteen Months in the Dessert. It's supposedly a guidebook for sightseers, describing some unusual things in a little-known area of Chicago. Such as the House of Clocks. I keep expecting the Baudelaires to turn up. I can't possibly pick the funniest part, so I'll just quote something at random: "Pay special attention to the sundials that line the walk as you leave; know that they will be paying special attention to you."

It's my own fault for leaving the TV on, but... do we really need "team coverage" of American Idol on the news? I know it's only Fox, and it's not as if they're news coverage is something I'll miss, but this is just silly.

Went to the comic shop. Did not find the Simpsons/Futurama crossover. Was sad. Will stop talking this way now.

I really should have asked, but the Evil Comic Shop Girl was working there, and I didn't want to talk to her. Because she's Evil! Well, I don't like her. For no particularly good reason, except that she's kind of rude. Actually, on the way home I stopped to think that maybe she's trying to be particularly friendly and helpful, and I just interpret it as being rude because she seems to be staring at me and asks me if I need help and I prefer to be left alone by clerks and maybe I'm slightly antisocial and people scare and well let's just move on. Uh. But then I remembered that no, she's rude. One time I had to buy stuff while she ignored me because she was busy talking to a crowd of her friends, and then after I got her to take my money I had to squeeze past this crowd so I could leave, so I'm pretty confident that she's not too concerned about being helpful.

Unless maybe she's trying to make up for her earlier rudeness. But now I'm just annoyed that I've spent this much time thinking about her, so I'm just going to stick with finding her annoying. Any. Way.

I did get the Lucifer: Nirvana TPB. Oh lord it's so pretty. Jon J. Muth did the art, and it's just gorgeous. And Lucifer is a hottie. It's also a good read -- and there's a very brief cameo appearance by the new Dream, which is cool. And I guess this is a very vague spoiler, but at one point Lucifer is attacked with an extremely large explosion, and his dry, "Fire? Against me?" comment is too funny. Actually, one of the things I think makes this such a good comic is that I can really hear the characters' voices in my head while I'm reading. Not like, "This person has a low voice," but I feel like I know how the character would say the line -- which words they'd emphasize, where they'd pause. I don't notice it when it isn't there -- there are plenty of comics where I don't think about how the characters "sound," but I think Carey's very good at writing dialogue that is distinct and fits the characters. And I like that.

I also got Torso, by Brian Michael Bendis and Marc Andreyke. Because I'm tired of hearing about Bendis when I haven't read anything by him, and because this review made it sound interesting. And it is. It also looks great, and now I understand the Bendis-love. Damn, I already said "gorgeous" about Nirvana so I guess I can't say that again. It's black & white, and I mean it's just black & white -- almost no shading. At least in the art. It uses photos in montages and backgrounds for the drawings, which works a lot better than I'd expect if I heard it described. The only grey in the art itself is when there are lights; in a few scenes areas around bright lights are faded slightly so that you get the effect of something shining, and it's a really neat effect and I was quite impressed when I noticed it. Which took a while, because for all my carping about ugly comics, it takes me a while to notice the techniques in pretty comics. I already admitted I was a hypocrite about that, didn't I? Ah well.

Oh, right, the story. Well, that review sums it up pretty well; it's about Elliot Ness in Cleveland, trying to catch a serial killer. I found the actual resolution to be slightly disappointing... the case was never officially solved so they're stuck with that, but since this story focuses on the cops, they had to provide a solution that wound things up, which means it feels a little bit artificial. But it's still very good, and it's an interesting contrast with From Hell because the problems are the same, and the ways the writers solved those problems are very different.

But apart from that quibble it's still very good, and the lives of the different cops are gone into in interesting ways -- if you saw Homicide, it has a similar feel, even thought it's set in the 1930's. Good book.

Oh, and I got another Too Much Coffee Man magazine, but I haven't really read it yet. So there.

I went out to pick up dinner a few hours ago, and then the Borders was right there, and you know how that goes. Paul Auster has a new book out: The Book of Illusions. I just finished it, so I'm kind of drunk on words right now. I like Auster a lot, and I think this is my favorite book of his since Leviathan. (And there's a blurb from Jonathan Lethem! It's like the Six Degrees of Neil Gaiman thing all over again!)

Summarizing the plot is going to be a mess, and I don't think I can try. A few years ago there was a story about a photographer who celebrated a birthday (60? 70? something like that) by burning his negatives. Which, at the time, inspired a lot of debate as to whether an artist had the "right" to destroy his own work. I think he does, but I do understand why it's a pretty horrible idea. In Illusions, there are writers writing books few people read, filmmakers making movies on the condition that they never be released -- there's just about every possible twist on the idea of making art that nobody ever sees. And the implied question of whether or not the work is worth doing if no one ever sees it.

The other recurring idea is of vanishing. The narrator more or less disappears from the world after his family dies. And then he writes a book about a silent film star who vanished mysteriously. Who made a movie in which a character is invisible. At the end of the book,nearly all of the characters are dead -- including the narrator, who explains that this story will only be published after his death. He has also spent time translating Chateaubriand's Mémoires d'outre-tombe, which he titles Memoirs of a Dead Man.

There are a lot of nested stories within stories, and an excerpt from a book the narrator wrote, and detailed descriptions of films. As usual, Auster is rather cold about the characters -- I think his love is for the words themselves first, then the story, and then the characters are a distant third. I like that, but if you need to care about the characters as people, I think you'll be disappointed by his books. There are sympathetic people, and less sympathetic people, but you never really know what anyone's motives are. The narrator ends the book with some guesses, and some hopes, but there's no particular reason to accept his view of things.

There are also some horrific events -- there's one scene where I had to stop reading for a minute and just deal with the idea of what I was reading. Not because it was gory; there are quite a few deaths, but that wasn't what made me put the book down for a minute. And then, when I picked it up again, it got even worse, and I started laughing because it was so terrible. Auster's never someone to read when you want to get caught up in another world, or see a different point of view. His characters are usually pretty blunt about explaining their point of view, and you can take it or leave it.

I'll end with a quote, because I really liked this bit. And it ties in with my little misanthropy kick:

No one can live without other people, David. It's just not possible.

Maybe not. But no one's ever been me before. Maybe I'm the first one.

It's not a mistake that there are no quotes in that, by the way. Auster has pretty much eliminated them, and I think it works. Largely because it allows him to go from summarizing large sections of a conversation to highlighting important parts. But I did notice it, so it might be another thing that would put off a reader.